Sure, it’d be easy to justify things to ourselves. You know, like: “He may be rich, successful and super good looking but Chris Hemsworth is probably a dick.” Problem is, the dude’s a legend and if you’ve seen the Vacation trailer, he’s packing, too. So we’re all fucked…
You know, it’s easy to find negative aspects in anyone, especially those more attractive, successful and cashed-up. But truth is, you probably know just as many dicks on the dole with muffin tops, wasting their cash on 36-month payment plan jet-skis.
So today, we celebrate the people who we as a society like to malign the most – celebrities. But not just any celebrities – the latest generation of children of celebrities who were born with it all but went above and beyond to hustle the shit out of the world anyway. Work with what ya got!
If scientists ran a DNA test on Zoe, they’d likely discover the newest evidence of human evolution. We mean, with rock legend Lenny as her old man and Lisa Bonet – the eldest Cosby Show daughter – as her mum, Zoe was destined to be both talented and beautiful. But instead of wasting her time being a nuisance to society like one Conrad Hilton, Zoe took what she was given, used her smarts and worked it. She’s a triple threat – sings, acts and will drink you under the table. And not a single conviction to her name. How many socialites can say that?
She is Elvis’s granddaughter. Just think about that for a moment. Before the Kardashians were even developed in a post-WWII Armenian lab, Elvis was the most recognisable human on the planet. And long after the T-101 returns from the future to defeat the KKK (Kim Kardashian Klan), Elvis’ name will again reign supreme. So Riley could have just hung out at Graceland and collected royalty checks. We know we would have. But instead, she picked up a guitar, got her ass into some acting classes and has been working her ass off to make her own name in the industry ever since.
The daughter of British high society royalty, Cara is living proof of what we like to call the Hot Dollar Equation. A super successful dude lands himself a babe, creating a super baby – hot, smart and talented. Better yet, she’s cool as fuck. She’s dominated the catwalk, proved she can act and is just as happy flashing her bum at some lucky passers-by as she is throwing back cocktails at Soho House.
Also a product of the Hot Dollar Equation, Gigi wasn’t just born beautiful but also whipped into the public spotlight courtesy of Real Housewive of Beverly Hills and her star mum and former model Yolanda Foster. We’re yet to see where her talents lie outside of posing, though her old man is a property tycoon, she was smart enough to realise Australian men are the best and her sister, Bella is a fucking babe. So for that and being a super babe with T-Swift’s approval, she made our list.
Out of all the five babes here, Miley had it the toughest and has hustled the best. We mean, Billy fucking Cyrus? The dude’s a ‘90s relic responsible for one of the worst – though admittedly catchy – songs of all time and is the very definition of a one-hit wonder. And it’s his fault your parents gave you a mullet as a kid. Though your mom should stand accountable for her questionable taste in music….
For Miley to even overcome that and launch a career in the first place is a thing of wonder. She hustled like no other and managed to make her old man relevant again in the process. And as both an actor and a musician, Miley’s talents can’t be denied. The chick’s legit.