Words by Harry Webber November 25, 2020

Time for another dose of virtual window shopping.

It’s coming up to December and you know what that means? It means that now is the time to spend ridiculous amounts of money on yourself with little thought for others and zero remorse. That’s right my fellow Grinches, let’s indulge our deepest, darkest and most capitalistic urges with things… expensive things. I’ll get you started with a few items below:

Super Mario Bros. 3 – $215K

Do you have a mint-condish copy of Super Mario Bros. on NES? What makes this one so expensive is a rare print wherein Mario’s hand is slightly obscure by the title. Why does that make it more valuable? No idea. All I know is that I’ll be rummaging through my boxes of childhood crap on the hunt for Nintendo games, especially after this one fetched a record $215K at auction, making it the world’s most expensive game.

Kelly Slater-designed Breitling watch – $6,021

Kelly Slater’s Outerknown company have teamed up with Breitling for this snazzy watch known as the Super Ocean Heritage 57. Will it make you surf like Kelly? Yes. It 100% will.

Hanyu Ichiro full card whisky collection – $2.07 million

So the story goes Hanyu Ichiro was founded by Isouji Akuto in 1941, then the legendary distillery closed its doors in 2000, but not before Akuto’s grandson Ichiro could preserve 400 casks of premium whisky. This “card” (which means there are 54 bottles like there are 54 cards in a deck) is made up of those salvaged casks. It’s probably not the kind of thing to purchase if you are a hobby whisky drinker…

Unopened first edition Pokémon booster pack – $490K

So for those of you who don’t remember, a Pokémon booster pack contained 300 or so cards for you to start your collection off. It was the kind of thing rich kids’ rich parents bought them, while I struggled away with my cheapo 10-card pack. Well, I bet even the rich kids couldn’t afford this booster which just sold for nearly half a mill at auction – suck shit rich kids.

Butter-Passing Robot – $200

Got a $200 bill burning a hole in your pocket? This butter-passing robot, based on the one from the Rick & Morty scene below, might be just what you need. The website claims this robot is “a nearly-sentient machine, originally created for the sole purpose of passing butter. With life-like movements and trademark voice, Butter Robot’s complex “emotion engine” creates unique interactions and personality as it struggles to find a purpose.” Head here for more info: