From Cocaine To Chicken Nuggets: Six Awesome Moments From The Olympics That Didn’t Really Involve Sport
Go for gold!
Sport
August 15, 2016

Usain Bolt can run kinda fast and Michael Phelps can swim good, but we’re not here to talk about sporting achievements.

From cocaine to chicken nuggets, here are five awesome moments from the Games outside of all the main action:

THE MICHAEL PHELPS DEATH STARE TATTOO

Michael Phelps solidified his place as the GOAT by securing his 23rd shiny gold medal in his final ever Olympic Games, but it was his intense death stare before the 200m butterfly semi-final that started trending across the globe. This stare will haunt our dreams for the rest of eternity, and for one Canadian, it will also grace his leg permanently in tattoo form. Richie Fung is the man in question, saying that he got the #PhelpsFace inked on him because “I admire people who aspire to be great. With the amount of determination and focus that he has, every day I want to look at my leg and wake up and channel all of this and do great things.” The tattoo was done by his employee Livia Tsang, as they both work at Chronic Ink Tattoo in Toronto. Conspiracy theory alert: This all might be a slick marketing campaign for their tattoo shop, and if so, kudos for the unbridled dedication.

ELISE KELLOND-KNIGHT REMINDS YOU HOW TO USE A BOTTLE PROPERLY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qd9umhtMYM

Have you ever purchased a Gatorade from the servo and spent at least 45 seconds wondering why any of that sweet blue nectar won’t come out, only to find that the bloody seal hasn’t been peeled off? It has happened to me three times. Bottles can be very tricky. That’s why I can relate to Australian soccer star Lisa De Vanna, who couldn’t work a water bottle on the field in their match against Brazil. Luckily, teammate Elise Kellond-Knight stepped in with a very assertive 180 degree spin so that the captain could get hydrated adequately. This is what teamwork and the Australian spirit looks like. We could watch this video on loop for at least 17 minutes.

RIO OLYMPIC COCAINE IS ACTUALLY FOR SALE

 

Drug dealers, like any other businessmen and businesswomen, need a competitive edge: 2 for 1 deals, home delivery, novelty gimmicks and the ilk. It seems like Rio’s hustlers have tapped into Marketing 101 with their Olympic-themed bags of cocaine, complete with the famous rings and a warning saying “Don’t Use Near Children”. How thoughtful! Seriously though, don’t use cocaine near children.

SAWAN SERASINGHE’S POST-LOSS MACCAS BINGE

Wow what a week it has been in Rio! Have to say I am disappointed about the match today. We definitely had a good chance to stretch the match to three sets toward the end of the second set but couldn’t close it out. We would have loved to end our first Olympic campaign with a win against a much higher ranked pair. Although having said that, there are lots of good things to learn from the matches in the last three days playing against more experienced pairs. Can’t wait to go back home to start training and keep on improving! Just want to say thanks again to everyone back home for the on going support. Definitely motivated me to fight hard on court everyday! ❤️ Now it’s time to eat some junk food after months of eating clean! ?

A photo posted by Sawan Serasinghe (@sawansera) on

Here is another certified Aussie legend. When you’re going through a rough period of your life, sometimes you just need the all too familiar taste of McDonalds on your lips to ease you back to comfort. That’s why when badminton player Sawan Serasinghe lost his mens doubles match over the weekend, he saved his tears and bought some of the hard stuff from Ronald McDonald: Six burgers, six packets of chips, six brownies, 40 nuggets and a bottle of water just to balance things out. In the Instagram post Serasinghe says that “it’s time to eat some junk food after months of eating clean” while exposing one of his nipples. Go you good thing!

PS We can’t quite see that far but we hope that he has two tubs of sauce are of the sweet n’ sour variety:

HE ZI GETS A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL DURING HER MEDAL PRESENTATION

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He Zi was busy getting a silver medal for her efforts in the women’s three-metre springboard, with no clue that fellow Chinese athlete and boyfriend Qin Kai was about to get down on one knee and pop the big question. A marriage proposal on the biggest sporting stage of all time and about 73 million cameras all ready to snap every moment? Qin Kai is one brave man. BBC have collated this very helpful image timeline of the proposal, so you can print it out into a scrapbook and relive this Olympic moment forever. Can you feel the love? [Image via ETA]

FU YUANHI GIVES THE BEST POST-SWIM INTERVIEW EVER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEEgApvGm7w

This interview isn’t in English, and even without subtitled, it would be the best intrview of all time. So many emotions.

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