Party & Bullshit
Photos by January 13, 2016

I am really shitty at organising holidays, which is why I am giving myself a congratulatory gold star for traveling all the way from Sydney to Brisbane to witness the very first edition of FOMO Festival, brought to you by BBE & OCD.

Since we were going up the coast, we decided to relive Schoolies 2007 (the glory days) and make a pit stop at Byron Bay to buy yoga outfits and drink negronis at Treehouse on Belongil – a cool bar that Miley Cyrus recently visited. They also do a phenomenal cured salmon taco, and they were not stingy on the guacamole! Shouts to Laura and Tash from Treehouse for not lying about the greatness of the cured salmon taco.

After three days of ordering ignorant cocktails, we caught a shuttle bus up to Brisbane for FOMO, sitting in front of a crying baby and a woman who threw her banana peel on the floor when we stopped at Gold Coast airport. Here is my review of FOMO/review of my holiday – Four things that FOMO got right, in succinct point form:

THE BRISVEGAS LOCATION

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Despite being a huge fan of Gordon Tallis and the entire Brisbane Broncos starting lineup circa 1997-2000, going to FOMO was actually the first time I had ever visited the city. With its abundance of XXXX beer and Lipton Ice Tea advertisements, Brisvegas offers a healthy balance of riverside nonchalance and urban bustle. Plus, it’s the place that birthed Doughnut Time, The Veronicas and Darren Hayes of Savage Garden! Huge.

Sydneysiders will slap Brisbane with the ‘bogan’ tag as if we live in the most cultured city on the planet. Strong tip: Drinking a kale smoothie and wearing a floppy hat in Bondi doesn’t make you cultured, it just means that you’re suffering from a crippling identity crisis. Let’s leave the interstate rivalries for the State of Origin field, yeah? Local crews like The Kush Club, Auditree and Mutual Friends continue to throw awesome parties around Brisbane, while JOY, Violent Soho and Feki are just some of the ultra-talented musicians to emerge from the area.

The fact that the first ever FOMO took place in Brisbane is an assuring indication that there are real, hungry electronica fans in the Sunshine State. Brisbane has been asking for something like this, and FOMO has answered in resounding fashion.

Props to the lady in the picture above with a Ralph Wiggum tattoo. You are God.

THE MIXED BILL

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They say that diversity is the spice of life. That’s why I always get the maximum of three vegetarian dishes with my rice and samosa at Indian Home Diner. FOMO served up a healthy mix of Australian and international talent who all shared the space confidently. There were emcees, DJs, vocalists, live acts and some who fused the elements into a wonderful concoction. Local favourites Flight Facilities were a prime example – bringing out Owl Eyes and Touch Sensitive for the party, the likes of ‘Crave You’ and ‘Claire de Lune’ proved to be timeless favourites, elevated by the live factors onstage.

Sonically, the day was a rollercoaster. The groove-filled set of Jamie XX was pleasantly down-tempo – he was a calming presence alongside Florence Welch’s elegant vocals in his ‘You’ve Got The Love’ rework, while the crowd broke into an elated singalong for ‘Loud Places’. Contrast this to an absolutely manic set from RL Grime just an hour later, where punters thrashed vehemently to the sound of ‘Core’ and his ‘Love Sosa’ remix. RL Grime also dropped some drum & bass anthems, bringing some of the UK flavour that Skepta so confidently exuded earlier that afternoon.

ONE STAGE & MINIMAL MOVEMENT

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Some people enjoy exploring different stages as part of their festival experience. However, if you’re a lazy piece of shit like me who detests physical movement, you’re more than happy to lounge in one grassy spot and take it all in. By hosting only one stage for the day, FOMO did us all a favour and solved those nonsensical arguments that arrive whenever festival set times are announced. There were zero clashes. There was no need to watch 17 minutes of one act before being dragged past the gozleme stand and towards another stage blasting 14 hours of dubstep to meet your mate’s Tinder date. Here, all you had to do was sit back and feel your ass grow.

Brisbane’s own natural ampitheatre, Riverstage provided an excellent location to witness the fitness and soak in the music. You could sit down comfortably and sip on a beverage halfway down the hill, while circle pits formed for Skepta’s ‘It Ain’t Safe‘ just a couple of metres ahead. There were also areas completely secluded from the music, where you could bask in a minute’s silence while smoking a Marlboro Red or engage in a philosophical conversation with the guy next in queue at the Portaloo. Whether you value your personal space or like to elbow people in the forehead in a circle pit, FOMO had you covered.

THE AFTER-PARTIES & SIDESHOWS

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For those still kicking with energy after FOMO, there was a very rare intimate show from RL Grime at Oh Hello – where special guest Skepta also made a surprise appearance. Unfortunately, we were too busy buying Coco Pops and riding rental bikes around Brisbane Botanic Gardens at 3:00am to attend. Yes, you can rent bicycles off the street in Brisbane. How cool is that? My mate somehow copped a $77 charge for our Lance Armstrong session, and we had to call the city council for them to fix it. In the end, we forked over $2 for our troubles.

The day after FOMO, we wore collared shirts to The Stamford Hotel and partook in a $59 seafood buffet with an impressive selection of roast vegetables, a tantalising octopus salad and a tartare sauce for the ages. We then headed to Oh Hello to see Boys Noize for the third time in 2016 in what was one hell of a Sunday session. Techno thumpers filled the main room, with the likes of ‘XTC’ highlighting his brand of brash electronica. After the gig, our Uber driver David gave us bottled water and candy, and proceeded to play Young Thug on Spotify without warning. What a legend! Seven stars.

CONCLUSION

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We went to FOMO and subsequently avoided any traces of FOMO. The only bad thing was that the frozen cocktail machine was broken for awhile and also it rained for about 30 seconds. Otherwise, I had a great time. I was severely disheveled on Monday and would’ve gladly paid somebody to dab my forehead with a moist towelette and feed me pork cutlets in our hotel room. It’s crazy how much a few hours of travel up the coast can make – I recommend that everybody does it at least three times before they die. See you in 2017, Brisbane!

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