Forget the so-called “classics”, here is LWA’s not-to-definitive list of the Christmas movies worth your time and possibly worth doing time for by downloading them.
Lethal Weapon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKeW-MGu-qQ
Fuck yes it’s a Christmas movie. The whole thing takes place over Christmas. And even though it’s LA, there’s a still a little bit of a white Christmas vibe if you know what we’re saying… This film is single-handedly responsible for spawning the buddy cop genre and is some of Mel Gibson’s best work. Classic lines include “I’m too old for this shit” and then there’s Gary Busey – a must in any film with filth.
The Ref
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY3vOMox0pQ
Dennis Leary is a comic legend. And teamed with Kevin Spacey this is a Christmas story with a difference that basically promotes telling your judgy relatives to fuck off and speaking the truth – especially effective when Leary has a gun to your head.
Home Alone 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g64dOUrwqrE
Yeah, that’s right. Fuck the original Home Alone. This is the one you really remember most fondly – the original Nintendo Game Boy, New York City and classic lines like “keep the change you filthy animal”.
Die Hard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TQ-pOvI6Xo
It’s Christmas eve 1988 and John McLean has scum to bust and his own family to save – even is he can’t shake the headache that’s been plaguing him since his time as a rookie. Yipee kay-ay, motherfuckers.
Bad Santa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQvaoRScND4
If you’re PC, bro, you won’t wanna watch this. A perpetually drunk Billy Bob Thornton, a black midget (shetland folk, short person or whatever the correct term is) and anal sex in change room stalls. What’s not to love?
Elf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW9wRNqQ_P8
We just can’t leave it off. The reason alone? Will Ferrell. The man’s a legend and this film has only become funnier over the years as Ferrell’s left of centre style of humour has become more prevalent.
A Very Murray Christmas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJP3db3R014
It’s a Netflix original so there’s no excuse for not watching this one. It’s more a musical late night show with a little plot than a movie, but it’s farking funny and Bill Murray at his best. Plus there’s Miley Cyrus, Chris Rock, George Clooney, Michael Cera, Rashida Jones, Hason Schwartzman, Maya Rudolph (bonus points for surname) Amy Poehler and Pheonix, the band. If that doesn’t excite you, give yourself an uppercut.
A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZpFjWOCHAM
Weed, babes, Christmas and Neil Patrick Harris at his filthy best – it’s B-movie gold. The plot is easier to follow than a fat kid on foot and there are plenty of laughs to be had.
National Lampoon’s Xmas Vacation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=decUIVkZ4GI
Chevy Chase. Randy Quaid and the entire extended Griswold family on a family Christmas vacation. What can go wrong? Everything in a plot sense. But nothing from a movie sense. It’s one of John Hughes’ last films. Yep, the man responsible for 16 Candles, Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off penned this one just for you.
Gremlins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoK0BzYUTrU
There’s just one rule – don’t get the little fuckers wet. But guess what? The slimy little bastards do get wet. Then they come to life, spawn and create the kind of Christmas havoc only the 1980s can provide.
