Being locked down has led to a lot of online shopping…
Which has led to a lot of realising how poor I am. Would it be more sensible to squirrel some money away and be prepped for a rainy day? You bet it would. But how can you resist ordering pre-made cocktails from your local or a ridiculously overpriced (home) office chair at a time like this? You can’t… Well… I certainly can’t.
Anyway, at this point there isn’t much else to do in lockdown other than some digital window shopping, right? Below are five things that I would buy, as Gwen Stefani puts it, “If I was a rich girl”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rlNpWYQunY
Louis Vuitton vinyl case – $2,800
When do I transport vinyl? Only when moving house. Would this fit more than five records? No. Do I want it anyway? Yes. This Louis V case is made of cow-hide (which is rich people’s way of saying leather) and features gold clips and a soft interior – perfect for holding the 2% of a standard vinyl collection that would actually fit inside.
Serendipity cheesy fries – $271
I don’t own much gold and have never eaten any. To be honest, I can’t imagine it tasting very good, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy cramming these fries from New York restaurant Serendipity 3 into my mouth. For about the price of a bag, you can eat potatoes that have been blanched in vinegar and champagne, twice fried in goose fat, sprinkled with gold and served with truffles and a Mornay cheese dip.
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KAWS ‘Good Intentions’ wooden figure – $20K
US artist Brian Donnelly AKA KAWS has teamed up with Japanese woodwork masters Karimoku for this sculpture (which is a miniature version of one he debuted back in 2016) ahead of his forthcoming Tokyo show. There are 100 signed and numbered units that are about 40cm high, and it feels like – as someone who knows nothing about art – these will be worth some serious dosh down the track. Basically what I’m saying is invest money you don’t have now for potential future riches.
This NFT – $122 million
CryptoPunks are a set of 10,000 NFTs depicting pixelated characters, created back in 2017… and given away for free. Now (for some reason) they’re worth on average $100K. This one, number 3100, depicts one of nine aliens in the set and he happens to be wearing a headband, which makes it extra rare – don’t ask me why.
Limited-edition LandCruiser – $80K
I’m not normally a car guy, but this 70th anniversary LandCruiser looks fucking mint. There are only 600 of them hitting Australia and ahhh… car people(?)… are expecting other ahhh… car people(?) to purchase these with the aim of flipping them for six-figure pricetags. Perfect for escaping a capital city during the post-Covid apocalypse!
