Left image via Eli Spek / Getty Images / right image via Marvel //

The strangest origin study…

With the chart-shattering success of Spider-Man: No Way Home invigorating Spider-Man fandoms old and new just last year, it’s safe to say the younger end of the web-slingers fandom is still feeling the love for the iconic comic book character. So much so that an 8-year-old Bolivian boy went and got himself bit by a spider in an attempt to become the latest addition to the Avengers team, but with little success.

Finding a black widow in his native town of Vichuloma, the child embraced the fangs of the arachnid in the hope of gaining the ability to spawn webs, climb walls and essentially be an absolute freak of nature. To be fair, we were all tempted to do the same at one point or another when we were younger, except, old mate actually put his money where his mouth is (or put his spider where his palm is) and committed to the bit.

But still, of all the spiders to choose, the Peter Parker-in-training really picked a doozy. To put things in perspective, Black Widow’s venom comes with an extra zing—a dose of alpha-latrotoxin, a neurotoxin that can give you a one-of-a-kind, involuntary dance party for your nervous system. But, in what’s sure to be a bit of a surprise to anyone who literally shits their pants at the mere sight of a spider (guilty), it turns out that despite their menacing moniker, black widows are more into self-defense than villainous plots. When it comes to biting, they’re a bit like the world’s tiniest bouncers, only opening the velvet rope for folks who really deserve it. In reality, most of their victims experience discomfort that rivals wearing shoes two sizes too small, mixed with a dash of tummy trouble and a sprinkle of the sweats.

Thus, as you can probably guess, young Pete made full recovery (just gonna assume his name is Peter at this point) at the local hospital. Still, it’s a pretty wild decision for any eight-year-old boy to make – let’s just hope he never sees Nolan’s Batman trilogy.