GOAT Status: Excavations Suggest That William Shakespeare Smoked Marijuana
The literary God tangles with Mary Jane.
Entertainment
August 10, 2015

William Shakespeare – the literary OG often regarded as the GOAT of the English language – is still making headlines and killing it from beyond the grave. If you thought that the plots for Othello and Twelfth Night were slightly too wacky when you studied them back in high school, new evidence suggests that Shakespeare was puffing on the fragrant green before it was cool i.e. back in the 17th century.

The Shakespeare Birthplace Trust dug up 24 fragments of 400-year-old clay pipes from Shakey’s garden and the surrounding areas, which were then lent to the University of the Witwatersrand for scientific testing. The South Africans then used a technique named ‘gas chromatography mass spectrometry’ to examine the pipes, which we’re assuming is about as complicated to conduct as it is to pronounce.

Of the 24 samples, eight were found to have cannabis, and four of those came from Shakespeare’s garden. Cocaine was also found in two samples, but neither came from the poet’s property because he was also a responsible man who knew his limits.

While this doesn’t definitively prove that Shakespeare smoked marijuana, it would serve as a completely reasonable explanation for how he wrote so much goddamn gold within his career. Shakespeare now joins Snoop Dogg and Juicy J as the masters of poetry who like to blaze up every now and again, preferably from a Gatorade bong.

420 SHAKESPEARE, LET’S LISTEN TO SOME DR. DRE AND REMINISCE ON HOW GREAT LEONARDO DICAPRIO WAS IN THE FILM ADAPTION OF ROMEO + JULIET IN 1996:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oZZ9lKg3gQ&spfreload=10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QagknwNl6Q4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjxHdNxvySU&spfreload=10

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