If your sexting game has reached peak levels and you’re looking to take a scary step into the domain of IRL dating, then here’s some good news: You can send an eggplant to that special someone for some not-so-subtle flirtation.

In the global language of emoji, the eggplant isn’t just an innocent vegetable, with its phallic shape becoming a well recognised symbol for male genitalia. ‘Eggplant Mail‘ is a new service which capitalises on the contemporary trend, allowing you to send phallic eggplants anywhere around the world with a customised message. As seen below, some of the messages suggested by Eggplans Mail include are “THINKING OF YOU… ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU”, which might be the most romantic thing we’ve heard since the hook of ‘Thong Song’ by Sisqo.

“The idea began as a birthday present for a friend…He has a weird habit of signing off texts with the eggplant emoji, so whilst walking through my local fruit market I had an idea: I could send him a far weirder real life penis emoji,” mysterious Eggplant Mail owner Jack said in an interview with Mashable. While he’s keeping tight-lipped about his exact business numbers, he assures us that “we’re seriously expanding storage space.”

I know we’re still a good 11 months away from Valentine’s Day 2017, but we’ll go ahead and say that this will make for the perfect gift for a loved one. Grab your eggplants here, with Eggplant Mail describing themselves as “100% Phallic. 100% Anonymous. 100% Disturbing.” What a succinct and accurate description: