In a parallel universe somewhere there’s a Seinfeld with no Jason Alexander.
Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you had different parents? Or if you never took that job? Or if some other decision was made in the history of your life that could have changed who you are today? Nah, me either. But when it comes to casting what-ifs, that’s a different story (no pun intended there).
For each role directors, casting directors, studio execs, and writers usually consider many people to play each part. So, naturally, there are about a million of these kinds of articles out there. So why am I writing this? Well, these are the ones that would have changed how we live today, or at least are mildly interesting…
So strap your imagination cap on and hop into this time machine:
O.J. Simpson as The Terminator
Mike Medavoy, who ran Orion Pictures, reportedly called James Cameron and said that he had envisioned O.J. as the man to play the killer robot, with Arnold Schwarzenegger to play Kyle Reese. Cameron shut him down later saying that “[Producer and co-screenwriter] Gale Hurd and I looked at each other like that was the stupidest thing we’d ever heard in our lives. And I told him on that phone call, ‘It’s not O.J. Simpson. We’re not doing that.’”
Could you imagine O.J. as a cold-blooded murderous machine that kills with little forethought… Oh… wait…. Could you also imagine (I told you to wear your imagination hat, right?) if Arnie hadn’t landed his most iconic role? Would his career have flopped? Would he have ever become the Governor of California?
Paul Schaffer as George Costanza
You may know Paul Schaffer as the man who used to sit behind a piano echo the sentiments of late-night talk show host David Letterman like a well-trained parrot but, according to his autobiography, he also could have been a member of the Seinfeld cast. Apparently, Jerry offered him the role of George in 1989, leaving him a message saying that he didn’t even have to audition.
You’ll probably be thinking “thank fuck!” once or twice in this article and this has gotta be one of them. Anyone but Jason Alexander (except for maybe Larry David) as the neurotic chubster would have been criminal. We should be grateful that Schaffer never called him back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJjtEtulaBY
Wynona Ryder as Dorothy Boyd
Renée Zellweger’s breakthrough role as the plucky assistant that rides the highs and lows of her boyfriend Jerry Maguire’s sports agent could have gone to actress-turned-shoplifter-turned-actress Winona Ryder. Director Cameron Crowe turned Ryder down, stating that he thought she and Tom Cruise, who was already cast as the film’s namesake, looked too much like brother and sister for a romantic role.
It launched Zellweger into the spotlight with starring roles in Nurse Betty, Me, Myself & Irene and Bridget Jones’ Diary coming in the following five or so years. Would Ryder have had her fall from grace had she had those roles? Who knows. She seemed pretty keen on her role as a shoplifter TBH.
Nicholas Cage as Aragon
Family commitments, according to Cage, prevented him from taking on the role of “The King” in Peter Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Imagine opening up “The Cage” on Middle Earth; the ad-libs, crazy hand gestures, the intense stares – it would have been amazing. I’m also imagining this scene re-imagined with the rest of the fellowship:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igv_ChOEp2E
Leonardo Di Caprio as Patrick Bateman
American Psycho director Mary Harron was fired after her first choice for Patrick Bateman, Christian Bale, was overlooked for the part. The film’s co-writer, Guinevere Turner, claimed that Leo was encouraged to turn down the role by journalist/activist Gloria Steinman (who weirdly later went on to marry Christian Bale’s dad).
“…Gloria Steinem took Leonardo DiCaprio to a Yankees game,” Turner said. “I believe, she said, ‘Please don’t do this movie. Coming off of ‘Titanic,’ there is an entire planet full of 13-year-old girls waiting to see what you do next, and this is going to be a movie that has horrible violence toward women. Soon after that, Leo dropped out, so who knows what really happened?”
Though it would have been interesting to see Leo absolutely annihilate his teen dreamboat image, it was some pretty sage career advice from Steinman.
Anne Hathaway as Alison Scott
Why was Anne Hathaway not in Judd Apatow’s legendary comedy Knocked Up? It all came down to one shot: “because it was going to show a vagina – not mine, but somebody else’s. And I didn’t believe that it was actually necessary to the story,” Hathaway said to Marie Clare, referring to the scene where Alison Scott pushes out the baby.
Catherine Heigl’s career went into a bit of a downward spiral after she trashed the movie in Vanity Fair, calling out the film’s misogynistic leanings that portrayed the women as whiny killjoys. So perhaps best Anne didn’t touch it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFQFGOY3RQ0
Will Smith as Neo and Django
You’ve probably already heard these ones, but fuck. Big Willy AKA The Fresh Prince AKA the most inoffensive man in rap has turned down some zingers. I understand why he didn’t want to do The Matrix, as explained below, but turning down the role of Django in Tarantino’s highest-grossing film ($450 mill) is pretty loose.
He has been quoted saying that “Django wasn’t the lead, so it was like, I need to be the lead,” to Entertainment Weekly and also that he’d preferred it if the film focussed more on the love story angle than the vengeance story angle. “I wanted to make the greatest love story that African Americans had ever seen,” he said at The Hollywood Reporter’s annual actor roundtable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm2szuXKgL8
Matthew Broderick as Walter White
Ooooooohh bomp bomp, chk chickidicah. That’s right, the man known largely for his role as high school slacker Ferris Bueller, was supposedly sent the script to AMC’s most iconic show, Breaking Bad, with the idea that if he wanted it he could have it. Following his performance as nerdy-but-sly teacher Jim McAllister in Election, it’s easy to imagine Broderick embodying Walter White and doing really well.
As Reddit user @Notathrowaway211 said: “If he had taken the role we’d all be saying “they almost went with the dad from Malcolm in the Middle. Can you imagine how awful that would’ve been?” Which is so fucking true.
Travolta as Forrest Gump
Is Tom Hanks a better actor than John Travolta? Almost certainly, but would the world be different if Travolta had had the run of films Hanks did following his Academy Award-winning performance as Forrest Gump. After playing the mentally-challenged Alabaman, Hanks went on to star in some of the biggest movies of all time: Saving Private Ryan, Toy Story, The Green Mile, Castaway and Apollo 13 were among his credits in the six years following Forrest Gump.
Would the world have been a different place if Travolta went on that run and never became Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction (a role that was reportedly offered to Daniel Day-Lewis)? You bet it would, though I’ve gotta say, I’m happy Travolta has lost his leading man viability – his chin has always weirded me out. Check out the deep fake below and rate Travolta as Gump:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sUO2pgWAGc
