I’ve never rooted for a couple to break up so much…

Being a prick while holidaying in someone else’s country is never a good idea. Whether you’re obnoxiously obstructing the lives of locals or disrespecting the nation’s cultures, the commonly-observed protocol for being a tourist is to, well, not be a piece of shit. Some wanker named Ivan (guarantee that’s not the first time that sentence has been written) thought the above rules didn’t apply to him, however, and it’s now come back to bite him in the arse in a royal way.

Visiting the famous of the Colosseum in Rome, US tourist Ivan (who even names their kid Ivan?) was caught on video defacing the UNESCO World Heritage site, etching the words, “Ivan + Hayley ’23” onto one of its columned arches.

The video shows Ivan and Hayley in the act, while a bystander hurls some well-deserved expletives at them. In response, Ivan merely grinned in that entitled, arrogant way that makes you want to punch through the screen. What he probably wasn’t aware of, however, is that the repercussions for such an offence are severe to say the least, with potential fines amounting to €20,000 ($33,000 AUD) and a prison sentence ranging from four to five years.

The incident has now resulted in a mass outroar across Italy, with their own minister of culture, Gennaro Sangiuliano, getting involved, writing online, “I consider it very serious, unworthy and a sign of great incivility that a tourist defaces one of the most famous places in the world, a historical heritage (site) such as the Colosseum, to carve the name of his fiancée.

Reputo gravissimo, indegno e segno di grande inciviltà, che un turista sfregi uno dei luoghi più celebri al mondo, il Colosseo, per incidere il nome della sua fidanzata. Spero che chi ha compiuto questo gesto venga individuato e sanzionato secondo le nostre leggi. pic.twitter.com/p8Jss1GWuY

— Gennaro Sangiuliano (@g_sangiuliano) June 26, 2023

Sadly, this isn’t the first time the colosseum has been defiled by some dickhead tourist, with an Irish tourist carving his own initials into one of its pillars, with a German teenager doing the same just a month later.

Needless to say, I hope with all my being that Ivan and Hayley have the most tumultuous break up in history. Check out the full video below and remember, when in Rome, DON’T vandalise the colosseum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGYe1Z4EbQ0&t=15s