I don’t know why it’s the case, but there’s somehow no shortage of stories about men shoving foreign objects into their various orifices.
We’ve already covered a UK teen who inserted a USB cable into his urethra, but this more recent hole-in-one scenario takes the cake, with Gloucestershire Royal Hospital revealing they’d recently treated a man who’d lodged an entire WWII bomb into his rectum.
While I’m no stranger to explosive happenings down there (usually following a Mexican feast), this man’s symptoms proved a little more serious, as doctors eventually had to enlist the UK bomb squad for fear that the inserted munition might be live. The Explosive Ordnance Disposal unit arrived to find that doctors had successfully removed what was a thankfully-inactive bomb which posed no risks to broader hospital (except for those poor surgical extractors).
Speaking of the bombshell admittance (ha!), the hospital said that “the relevant safety protocols were followed to ensure that there was no risk to patients, staff, or visitors.” For his part, the patient said that he had ‘slipped and fell’ onto the projectile while cleaning out his military memorabilia, which is a totally plausible explanation that doesn’t defy the laws of physics and lubrication at all.
Measuring at a girthy 17 centimetres, the suggestively-shaped bomb is the most recent case of whoopsy-daisy insertion, and comes after England’s National Health Service revealed they’d treated 3,500 accidental bum-hole lodgings over the last 10 years. The most popular phallic objects were rolling pins, wine glasses and hairbrushes (presumably when combing your gooch hair).
Dodging a medical bullet (or missile), the man was thankfully released from hospital the following day, and probably missed the opportunity to quite literally say he’d dropped a bomb. In any case, I’m sure there’ll be a new story of objects that definitely shouldn’t go there in the near future, and at that point, the occurrence will undoubtedly warrant deeper anthropological study.
